Save Me From Myself
by XxSUICIDExXxEATSxXxPIExX
Summary: Everyone needs to be saved sometimes, but who is there to save us? The most difficult thing to be saved from is Ourself. Deidara one-shot. Please beware of spoilers.


**Authors Note: **This story is set in the begging of Naruto Shippuden, but Itachi has already died.

* * *

((FLASHBACK))

_  
A girl sat alone in the forest of Konoha, crying. The only person that could really make her happy, truely happy,_ _**DEAD....**__  
__She did not notice the presence of another persons chakra a little way off, through the trees; Nor did she care. She stared down at the cuts on her pale wrists. If she really wanted to do it, she could; __**that last slash, that last cut.**__  
__And so she raised the kunai slightly, holding it losely, and pressing the blade gently against her soft skin. Then she moved it away and held it up higher, ready for the slash. She brought the kunai down quickly, but at the last minute there was a quick flash of light reflected from the kunai, a __**dark **__silhouette, a __**pair of blood-red eyes**__ and a strange figure was standing over her, staring her down, holding her wrists tight in his own strong hands, stopping her from harming herself, stopping her from going all the way,_ Saving Her From Herself....

((END FLASHBACK))

Kaori sat alone in her bedroom in the Akatsuki hide-out, crying; Crying for everything and everyone worth crying for. Someone knocked on her bedroom door but Kaori didn't move.  
The pain, the hurt, the despair - They all exploded.  
It felt like there were thousands of pins stabbing through her. They hurt, and the fusration they brought with them was almost unbearable; They wouldn't leave her alone. These pins caused the hurt and the pain; that's what it all felt like. And the fact that they would never move just made it one-thousand times worse and she cried even harder. It felt as though icicles were slashed through her body; Cold icicles. Her blood was squashed in between these icicles: She would explode.  
The pain, the hurt, the despair - They all exploded.  
Would this ever end? Ever go away? Death. When would Death come? She wished it would come now. Right now. This suffering - The Suffering of Eternal Misery; _**It would never end.**_

"Kaori, Leader-sama wants to see you, un." Came a voice from outside the door. When she didn't reply, Deidara came in with Sasori by his side.  
"No." She whispered.  
"Come on, un."  
"No."  
"Kaori-"  
"What do you want from me?" She looked up at them with her tear-streaked face.

Sasori stepped foward.  
"I don't like to be kept waiting." He said quietly. Kaori didn't care anymore; She was empty. Empty, but not numb....  
_**Oh how she wished she could be numb....**_  
She got up and followed Deidara and Sasori to their Leader's office. She was in too much pain to have noticed Deidara's face when she had looked up at them, so helpless....

**Deidara's POV:**

She looked up at us, her face lined with tears. I felt a stab of pain when I saw how hurt she looked. Then a stab of guilt; I should say something. I should help her....  
"I don't like to be kept waiting." Sasori said, taking a step towards Kaori. I wanted to knock him out.  
Kaori stood up and followed Sasori and I out the door, to Leader-Sama's office. _**'Why was I so stupid? Why couldn't I just say something????'**_

**  
No one's POV:**

She watched Sasori knock on the door, too busy trying to hold herself together to notice the strained look on Deidara's face. The rest of the Akatsuki members, all except Tobi, were waiting inside Pein's office. Deidara, Sasori and Kaori walked in and stood in front of Pein's desk, waiting.  
"Kaori," Said Pein in a stern voice, "This has to stop. We understand that you are upset about Itachi's death, it was a shock to all of us, but that doesn't mean you can neglect your duties as an Akatsuki member and act like this. It's been four weeks since he left us and we still haven't attained the Kyuubi-"  
Kaori looked up at him and he stopped mid-sentence when he saw the look on her face. She stood there crying. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. She let the salty tears slide gently down her cheeks, oblivious to the fact that Deidara was mentaly fighting with himself, trying to figure out whether or not he should go over to her and wipe those tears. _**He wanted to - So badly....**_

"Kaori, if you go on like this, it will result in your expulsion from this organizatio-"  
Once again, Pein was stopped, mid-sentence.  
"Is that all this is about? The Kyuubi and this STUPID organization?!?!" She screamed the words right into her Leader's face. The other members, who had remained quiet throughout the whole conversation, were a little shocked at this behaviour, especially coming from Kaori; The one who was always so calm and peaceful, yet always so horribly morbid and depressed at the same time....  
"Stop being stupid Kaori. Stop all that pointless crying." This time Pein's voice was angry and bitter.  
"B-being stupid? Stop c-c-crying?" Kaori reapeted his words while looking at the floor.

Itachi had kept her alive. He had cared, he hadn't made it too obvious, but he had. He had given her the ability to smile again, even if she wasn't smiling at him. If he hadn't helped her, she wouldnt've been able to smile at anyone. Other times, she faked her smile, but with him, she didn't have to pretend, didn't have to pretend to be happy; She could show him what she really felt. He had saved her - Saved Her From Herself....

**Deidara's POV:**

((FLASHBACK))

I_ stood there waiting, watching her. She walked from her bedroom (The spare bedroom)to Itachi's. I had always wandered about that spare bedroom....__  
__But I wasn't thinking about that, I was too busy staring at __**her**__; Leader-Sama had said that she was a spy for us, for the Akatsuki, and that we could trust her. He also said that she was the one who had  
informed us about the Kyuubi's whereabouts when we had lost track. She would be staying in the hide-out for a while, possibly even a few months....__  
__  
__  
__  
__**'Was she in love with Itachi????'**__ This 'connection', was it love? I was suddenly very angry at Itachi and didn't know why....__  
__Well, I did, I just didn't want to have to admit it to myself; I was jealous....And it wasn't fair that she loved Itachi and not me - Not fair, just so unfair....__  
__I didn't know what to do back then....__**If only I knew then what I know now....**_

*** *** *** *** ***

She seemed to have some sort of connection with Itachi....Right now her face looked hurt, like she was in pain. This upset me for some reason; It was only her first night here and yet I had this strange feeling about her, almost like a need for her....

*** *** *** *** ***

She knocked on his door and I watched as he opened it, looked at her, and let her in.

((END FLASHBACK))

**No one's POV:**

She had never actually told him about her attempts at suicide, but he had known. Itachi had known. He had stopped her, he had helped her so much....  
But what was the point in living anymore? She had always acted so layed-back, so carefree....But after his death, she had barely left her room in the Akatsuki hide-out and had neglected almost all her other needs...._And then there was Deidara....__  
_He hadn't even tried to help her, not even once. It seemed to Kaori as though he didn't care either - _How wrong she was...._

Deidara's POV:

((FLASHBACK))

_**  
'This girl is strange, different, and I want to know more about her.'**__I couldn't get the thought out of my head. I looked over, once again, at where she was sitting, sketching. She was always sketching - Or, at least, she always seemed to be. Thats all she ever seemed to do....This was only her second day here and__  
__I had already picked up so much about her....__  
__She looked up and I looked away quickly. __  
__"Do you mind?!?!" I heard her ask someone. __**'Had she seen me looking????'**__ I looked over at her and let out a low sigh of relief; __**'No. She was looking at Hidan.'**__ I immediately regretted letting out that sigh; __**'Why**__**had she chosen Hidan to look at, not me?'**__ But then the feeling of jealousy left me, almost as quickly as it had come; she was __glaring__ at Hidan - _**Not**_ the sort of look_ **I**_wanted from her....__  
__"Do you think you could please stop looking at me like I'm some stripped-off pole-dancer?!?!" She asked harshly, still glaring at Hidan.__  
__"What the F*** are you doing here anyway B****?!?!" He asked, and I glared at him; how dare he __  
__talk to her like that?!?!__  
__"Apart from the fact that that's completely off the subject," She answered, "I could quiet easily ask you that same question." She sounded bored and I could tell that all she wanted to do was go back to her sketching - she didn't seem to like to talk much....__  
__"I asked you first, b****." Hidan replied.__  
__"I'm sure you know very well that I am a spy for this....__**stupid, pointless**__....organization." She said, staring at Hidan. __**'Stupid....pointless....What exactly did she mean by that, un?'**__ Luckily, I didn't have to ask__  
__her that myself, Hidan beat me to it; Even so, I didn't know wether to be glad or disappointed....__  
__"If this place is so stupid and the purpose so __**f***ing**__ pointless then why the __**f*****__ are you here,__** b******__?" Hidan asked, with particular __**emphasis**__ on all of his swear words. She just sighed and looked up from her sketchbook, once again disturbed and sadly distracted from her __artwork....__  
__"Well," She started "I had no where else to go, nothing else to do. How can you live a life with absolutely no purpose? I tried, and I failed, so I came here, to work as a spy. Of course, I became a spy for the Akatsuki__  
__just over three and a half years ago, it's just that none of you have ever seen me before....But----" __  
__'But what?'__  
__"But, I am against each breath each of you take, each movement you make, and each thought that runs through your minds....This is all so pointless to me - You kill all these people, get all this power, and then you just all end up dying anyway...." She sighed "....But you guys....You guys will all die...._**empty**_." She said this and then went back to her sketching, as though she hadn't even been disturbed....__  
__I felt my heart sink; She was against us, all of us....__  
__But maybe, just maybe, I could get her to make an exception....But of course she __  
__could never like someone....__**like me....**_

((END FLASHBACK))

"Kaori, you will stop this nonsense right now!" Pein was obviously very angry, but that wasn't unusual, wans't anything out of the ordinary....

She and itachi hadn't exactly been 'best friends', or even friends at all for that matter....But still - What was there left with out him? Deidara didn't care. Nobody cared. But she was in love, in love with the man who was in love with art....But he didn't seem to care about her at all....He had no thoughts about her at all...._Or so she thought...._

**Deidara's POV:**

((FLASHBACK))

_It's the first day of her second week here and I've barely even spoken to her....__  
__But then again,_ no one _has, really; All shes been doing is sketching and firing sarcastic comebacks at Hidan. I have to admit, she is quiet funny....__  
__I looked over at her; Sketching, again - Of course, what else could I expect?!?! But no, today I was going to talk to her, to say something....__  
__I walked over to where she was sitting on the couch and stood behind her, looking over at what she was drawing; She closed the book before I even had a chance to look. I anime sweat-dropped....__  
__She looked up at me, smiling - An evil smile, almost a smirk - And I must admit, she looked kinda cute....__  
__Looking into her eyes, I could see what her expression meant: If I was going to see those sketches of hers, I was going to have to use force....__  
__But I couldn't fight her - So maybe I'd just have to persuade her, un.__  
__Yes, that was it....__  
__"Er, Kaori-san?" I said sitting on the couch next to her, not so close that we were touching, but this was __  
__close enough; Better than staring at her from across the room anyway....__  
__She looked away, but I didn't notice. Nor did I notice her blush.__  
__"You like art, yeah, Kaori-san? What do you think of art, un?"__  
__"Art...."She looked thoughtful, as most people would when they are thinking about what to say. "I think art__  
__is everywhere and in everything....It is....a beautiful thing really....But strange too, kinda like life; A never-ending circle that no one can figure out, that no one understands. Art equals design and technique, design and technique equal creativity and creativity equals art...." Her voice trailed off as we looked into each other eyes for a moment, __reading each other....__  
__Then we both looked away, blushing. Only, I didn't notice her blush then....__  
__It would be later, in Leader-Sama's office, when I would finally discover what she was thinking back then....__  
__**All that time ago....**_

(((END FLASHBACK)))

Kaori had never known **exactly** why Itachi Uchiha had Saved Her From Herself all those years ago.  
_"I can't let you do that"_ had been his only words, but they hadn't told her enough, hadn't told her what she'd wanted to know. She had followed him, or he had taken her with him, which ever way you want to put it. Then, just a few short nights before his death, he had told her that his cousin had asked him to protect her. They had been the best of friends, she and his cousin, but Kaori had never told him about her depression. People had joked about it and she had laughed, making them think that they _were_ just jokes. _If only they had known better than to think that._ Around Shisui she had been happy, relaxed, but then...._**that happened**_....  
Itachi had explained everything to her back then; Why he had done all those things, orders from Konoha, and everything else that had mattered at the time. The death of her best friend just led her to deeper depression, but Itachi would never let her make that one final slash....He had Saved Her From Herself, just as her best friend had wished for him to....And so Kaori loved itachi, in a way. She loved him for helping her, saving her, making her able to become happy, protecting her, being there for her and, once again, Saving Her From Herself, under the commands of the person they had both been able to call 'friend'. _And that really meant something...._

Now she looked into Pein's eyes, hatred burning into her own. This man didn't know what he was talking about, and both Kaori and Deidara were once again getting ready to knock him out. He didn't care about Itachi at all. ALL he cared about was _power_ - The oh-so-great-and-mighty-_power_....Well _power_ could get stuffed for all Kaori cared because if it hadn't been for Uchiha Itachi then she never would've met Deidara, _never would've fallen in love...._

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE F***ING KYUUBI AND STOP TELLING ME TO SHUT UP; ITACHI SAVED ME, HE HELPED ME AND IF IT WEREN'T FOR HIM **YOU** WOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THIS F*ed UP ORGANIZATION!!!! AND WHY **THE HELL** SHOULD I CARE ANYWAY - IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OF YOU GIVE A S*** ABOUT ME, THAT WAS ITACHI'S JOB, THAT'S WHAT HE DID - NOW THERE'S NO ONE, **NO ONE** TO SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kaori's screamed words came out chocked-up, and she broke down into a fit of sobs as she raised that same kunai once again, ready for that final slash....No one was here to save her this time, nobody cared, nobody would even give her death a second thought...._How wrong she was...._

_  
And so she raised the kunai slightly, holding it losely, and pressing the blade gently against her soft skin. Then she moved it away and held it up higher, ready for the slash. She brought the kunai down quickly, but at the last minute there was a quick flash of light reflected from the kunai, a __**brighter**__ silhouette, a __**blonde pony-tail**__, and a strange figure was standing over her, staring her down, holding her wrists tight in his own strong hands, stopping her from harming herself, stopping her from going all the way,_ Saving Her From Herself....

And at that moment, Deidara became her Itachi, once again, _**Saving Her From Herself....**_


End file.
